How to Speak So That People Want to Listen

Do you want to get better at public speaking, podcasting, or presenting on video?

How much effort do you put into your communication as a craft rather than just a means to an end. As a writer primarily, I am guilty for sure. We over-focus on word choice and spend too little energy thinking about delivery, which ends up being improvised at best or at worst not consciously done at all.

Hardly surprising then that we get mixed results.

I found an excellent Ted Talk that gave me lots to think about. It’s only 10 mins long so take a listen when you get chance, but I will paraphrase the advice below for you along with my thoughts.

The “Seven Deadly Sins” of Speaking

Certain negative habits can make others tune out or mistrust us. Recognising and avoiding these can immediately improve your conversations and your reputation.

1. Gossip

Talking about others who aren’t present.

Gossip fuels mistrust and negativity. When we gossip, others feel judged or insecure, and they’re likely to do the same about us later.

2. Judging

Criticizing or evaluating others unfairly.

Judging makes conversations feel confrontational. People don’t listen well when they feel they’re under attack or not accepted.

3. Negativity

Focusing on the bad or the worst parts of situations or people.

Chronic negativity can drain energy and push people away because it spreads gloom rather than solutions.

4. Excuses

Blaming others or circumstances instead of taking responsibility.

Excuses show a lack of accountability, lack of self awareness, and make it hard for others to trust or rely on us.

5. Embroidery & Exaggeration

Overstating or embellishing facts.

As Julian says, if everything is awesome, what word do we use when something really is awesome? Excessive exaggeration can reduce your credibility, making others less likely to listen or believe you.

6. Dogmatism

Confusing opinions or beliefs with facts.

When you insist your view is the only truth, conversations become one-sided and stifle real understanding.

7. Repetitive Prosody

Using the same tone, or a question at the end of sentences? unnecessarily.

It can make your speech monotonous or seem indecisive, reducing your authority.

4 Cornerstones of Powerful Speech

Speaking with honesty, authenticity, integrity, and love can make your words more welcoming and influential. Julian introduces this as his “HAIL” method as a way to remember his advice:

H: Honesty

Always tell the truth and be clear. Honest communication builds trust and respect.

A: Authenticity

Be yourself. Speak from your own truth rather than putting on a facade.

I: Integrity

Keep your promises and do what you say. People trust those who are consistent and reliable.

L: Love

Wishing others well. When your words are rooted in kindness, your message has greater warmth and openness.

Boosting Your Delivery

Your voice has a toolbox. There are hidden elements that, when used skilfully, strengthen your communication:

1. Register/Pitch

Lower voices are often perceived as more powerful and trustworthy. Practice speaking from your chest rather than your nose or throat.

2. Timbre

A warm, smooth voice can be more engaging. Use breathing exercises, and pay attention to posture.

3. Prosody/Rhythm

It gives your words emotional depth and clarity. Avoid speaking in one monotonous note. Instead, vary pitch and pace.

4. Pace and Silence

Slow down to emphasise key points. Pausing allows ideas to settle. Use silence instead of filler words like “um” or “ah.”

5. Volume

Variations can grab attention or provide intimacy. Constant loudness or talking too softly causes fatigue.

Preparation & Warm-Up Exercises

Before important speeches, warm up your voice:

• Deep breaths and sighs: Inhale deeply, exhale slowly like a sigh.
• Lip trill (“brrrr”): Vibrate your lips to loosen muscles.
• Exaggerated vowels (“la, la, la”): Engage your tongue and mouth.
• Roll your R’s: Use tongue rolls to relax your speech muscles.
• The “siren”: Glide from high to low pitch (“we” to “aw”) to stretch your vocal range.

Warm-ups help your voice sound clearer, warmer, and more confident.

Planning the environment ahead of time also influences how well we communicate.

• Good acoustics ensure your message isn’t lost.
• Consciously designing spaces for sound allows speakers and listeners to connect more fully.
• Being mindful of sound quality can make conversations more meaningful and less tiring.

Environments that support clear hearing and listening foster better understanding and collaboration.

Bottom Line: Conscious Speech

Great communication isn’t just about the words, but about planning and awareness. How you practice, the tools you choose, and the intention behind your words.

• When you speak with honesty and love, you build trust.
• When you use your voice’s tools intentionally, your message resonates more deeply.
• When environments are designed thoughtfully for sound, understanding becomes the norm rather than the exception.

Remember: Your voice is a gift. Use it wisely, kindly, and intentionally.