I was at Starbucks yesterday waiting for my caramel macchiato when I overheard a conversation that went something like this:
“So I just put my handbrake on and sat there. There was no way I was moving, school or no school.”
“What did they do then?”
“They had to drive around me. One mounted the curb right at the school gates. There could have been an accident”
“Drivers around here are so rude aren’t they?”
Now, I don’t know these ladies, nor did I get the full story, but I had an idea what might have been going on. The first lady seemed to have a drivers grievance. You know the type; road rage before they have even unlocked the drivers side door. She had taken out her anger right in front of a school, right at the school run. Then she wondered why she was on the receiving end of a torrent of parental abuse.
Fact is, I imagine there are a lot of driving incidents we have no control over, but I wonder how many of her problems with other drivers are not a reflection of her own actions. If you assume the worst or drive angry, how are others going to react?
What you put out comes back
The same goes for bloggers. I know there will always be trolls, and the more traffic you get the higher the number. Some people though seem to draw them out like magnets, and not just on a full moon.
At the other end of the scale I was taken by surprise recently by a warm, positive but simple gesture. In the post I received a hand written note. It simply said how much the person valued me. That kind of thing warms your heart. I went out into the world with a spring in my step. Everyone seemed happy that day. Wonder why? 🙂
To me the concept we need to grasp is a lot of the trouble or joy out there starts in here, between your own ears. It’s a feedback loop. Garbage in, garbage out.
Smile and the world smiles back
Imagine walking up to a mirror, scowling and clenching your fists. No matter how much you shout at the mirror, you are not going to change that reflections mood. Put on a happy face though and the reflection changes. It sounds daft but isn’t raging against our reflection, ie. the world, exactly what people do? We project anger or paranoia and wonder why the world isn’t a happy place.
Your blog is a reflection of you. Your business is a reflection of you. Even your email correspondence.
If a lot of the comments or feedback you receive are negative, have a good think about why. It could be the source is close to home.
When you write, meet or talk, put a smile on your face. Remember what you get back depends on what you put in and every little helps.