Tips for Dealing with Blogging Disagreements
Occasionally you will get people in comments or on their own blogs who disagree with you.
I know from conversations with bloggers, especially people new to blogging, this is a cause of stress and upset. Particularly when the disagreement contains attacks or is forcefully put across.
How do you deal with them?
First of all I encourage people to disagree with me. We learn through mistakes, if I have made an error of judgement or delivery I want to know about it.
It’s a little easier for me than people just starting out because I have had many years of doing this to grow a carapace of protection against what other people think 🙂
Your job when someone disagrees is to understand the other persons position
- Random Loonies – They might be just lashing out and their point might have zero merit. This happens a lot. These people just want attention or to vent at someone and you were just a convenient target.
- Crossed Wires – They misunderstood (or hallucinated) what you said. On occasion they forcefully agree with you without realising they are in agreement. Sometimes they see sense eventually, sometimes they will never see sense because they are projecting wrongness onto you and ignore anything to the contrary.
- Legitimate Complaint – In this case they actually have a rational argument about what you really said.
Tip Number 1: Accept that everyone has a right to an opinion, and even if you disagree with what they say, appreciate the fact that they have taken the time to contribute.
I say everyone has a right to an opinion, not a right to a comment on your blog. They can write what they think on their own blog but you get to decide who appears on yours. If you don’t like what someone wrote you have the right to remove it. I’m clear in my own comment policies where and why I would do that, I recommend you have your own policy.
Tip Number 2: Chill! Don’t respond in the heat of the moment. Don’t write a rant. Walk away. Come back with a clear head and without emotion. Don’t escalate.
It’s so easy to come back all guns blazing. All you will succeed in doing is make yourself look an overly emotional idiot with a short fuse.
Tip Number 3: Don’t judge, don’t try to change them.
It’s pretty obvious that you don’t come out and call them a fool but it might surprise you, that I don’t recommend trying to change their mind. If they disagree with you and you try to persuade it tends to turn into an argument rather than agreement.
Of course try to better explain, it could be just a misunderstanding. But don’t tell them they are wrong, and certainly don’t encourage others to beat them down. Just acknowledge their comment and move on.
Part of the problem is people need to save face. With this in mind, even if your arguments win them over, they have been publicly seen to hold a different position. This has a powerful affect on a persons ability to switch tracks. Add to this, even if you are very careful with your wording, any “attack” on this position will be felt as an attack on them.
Best to leave the wrongness of their position to be understood by those who want to I think.
You? How do you deal with disagreements in blogging? Let me know your tips in the comments …
