Who Do You Think You Are?
It’s funny but whatever you do, there will always be people who misunderstand you. The more public you make yourself the more you will be misunderstood.
In many ways it is our own fault, in different scenarios we wear masks to shield part of ourselves so we feel less vulnerable. Our “work mask”, the persona we have when with our friends, and another when with family. I often joke that my life online has been an open book, but even then I know there are personal and private things I haven’t shared in blogs and articles.
Is it surprising then that people do not get an accurate view of who we are?
Reading Scott Adams Dilbert blog I often feel for him how people take his words out of context no matter how hard he tries to make his position (or lack of) clear. I have a friend who has been shunned by people because he associated with people they consider dirty spammers. As we all know, through the safety and anonymity of the internet people can attack and misrepresent who or whatever they like with abandon.
The answer seems first to keep doing what you do.
Express yourself as best as you can, and know that you can do no more. Know that you know those people who criticize you as little as they know you, judging what you perceive to be their motives is as faulty as their perception of yours.
Another thing you can do is surround yourself with positive and supportive people. I feel blessed with the friends I have made but you do not have to know those positive people personally, just make sure you read positive blogs. People like Scott Adams who make you laugh, or the monk, the miracle, Liz, and Slade who blog in uplifting and positive ways.
The best way though is to get to know your readers and really talk to them. Answer your emails and comments and get to know the people who want to know you. Think of your audience as people rather than a “count”. Give people a chance to really know you and for you to get to know them.
Posted on November 01st, 2007 by Chris Garrett in Blogging
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Chris, with your blog, I always feel that there is a caring person behind the articles. I just unsubscribed from a blog much bigger than yours and apparently much more popular statistics-wise because lately, he seems to be more about making more money than about his readers. That is just my impression. As a blogger with a small but growing list of subscribers, I subscribe to yours and a few other blogging blogs to find ways to improve my own blog. I know that my blog needs visual improvements that I haven’t attempted to learn how to do yet. I have concentrated on developing my writing skills and collecting subscribers who are interested in my particular field of information. I think I am doing well in that area.
I originally found your blog because of Slade Roberson. He recommended you. I seem to connect with your writing style. Some of what you write about it more technical than I understand and that is ok. What comes through in your articles is your interest in giving out information that will help your readers to grow and develop their own blog. Thanks for that.
Chris,
Man, I can’t tell you how humbled and flattered I feel to see my name mentioned here — especially in this context, and among such an amazing company of other bloggers.
Thanks so much for the acknowledgment — you made my day!
@Patricia - Thanks, I am glad and it’s so nice of you to say
@Slade - I wouldn’t recommend you if it wasn’t true
Ditto Slade’s comment; I’m flattered, and touched. It lifts my heart to hear that my work is impacting you like this.
Thanks, and blessings!
Good post. When I interview for a job, I always ask what was on my resume that caught their interest to invite me for an interview. The answer is always different.
This reinforces the idea that whatever you write, whether it be a blog, resume, cover letter, etc., always make sure it projects the “personality” that is required. With writing, the reader only has words to make a judgment - no body language, physical personality, the way you carry yourself, etc.
This blog post is also good advice for companies. Companies want to project an image. They should ensure that their website, marketing materials, blogs, wikis, and whatever other communication they use, projects the correct image.
Funny, Chris… I suppose I’m misunderstood because I’m fairly public… but it doesn’t show up too often… and when it does, like when a potential client or tentative emailer seems to be holding me in some sort of awe, I blush and do keep on doing what ever it is that I do.
Good thoughts.
Good post, Chris. Simple and to the point, but a nice reminder not to let the trolls and flamers get you down.
@Alan: That’s a good thing to ask in an interview. I’ve never thought of it. I’ll have to try and remember that the next time that I’m job hunting (hopefully, that’ll be a while. I really enjoy my current job, and would like to get into freelancing when I decide to move on from here).
Wonderful post, Chris. Can’t wait to see what fool misunderstands your words.
Your words simply go to prove that human misunderstanding is very common. It starts wars, whether online or off. And without the physical interaction, nuances are missed.
We see it on Digg all the time. There are lots of nice people on Digg but there are also the moronic imbeciles who can’t seem to read, who seem set to misunderstand. Then there are the others that simply want to misunderstand so they can cause controversy. (I’ve been guilty of it, and still embarrassed to this day.)
Ultimately, you can only be yourself.
That is such great advice. You are so right. I have been grossly misunderstood and it has hurt but I have started spending time with people who are positive and supportive and my job success and happiness has improved 100%. Great post!
“Think of your audience as people rather than a ‘count’. Give people a chance to really know you and for you to get to know them.”
That is why I always reply my commentators. I want them to know that I have read and understood their feedback, and that I am interested in a follow-up relationship with with them.
But of course, not everybody responds to such emails because of our work and family commitments, but I understand perfectly well. The next time s/he leaves me a comment, I will repeat the process
One of my favorite quotes of all time comes from Maya Angelou, who says “When people show you who they are, believe them.”
The authenticity in your writing voice, Chris, tells me volumes about your integrity. For this venue, that’s all I really need to know. That authenticity is why I keep returning. It’s also a wonderful model for the rest of us in the blogging world. In my work, one of the 7 Sacred Attitudes I’ve written about is the “Show Up” Attitude. To me it means “be authentic.” Thanks for Showing Up.
Nice post Chris. Hopefully nothing happened that prompted this post. I know you and I have had the talk before about people assuming they “know” you because you are public. You’re a good egg and I think anyone with 1/2 a brain can see that
@Adam - It’s good to know there positive corners of the web, so thank you!
@Alan - Good idea, I never thought of asking that in an interview but have asked with clients
@Anne - Heh, I blush too, good job nobody but my cat can see me when my webcam is off
@Adam - Thanks Adam, I am sure you would do very well freelancing, just make sure you have a safety net of cash built up first
@raj - Yup, that is the key, ignore the trolls, be yourself and know that some people will twist your words no matter what!
@MyStarbucks - I do believe that if you give attention to negative people they suck you down into their unhappiness. We can do what we can to help them but in the end, if they are determined to be negative they are best avoided
@pelf - All we can do is try
@Erica - Thank you for your kind words and showing up Erica
@ses5909 - Just observing trends
Chris I totally agree that surrounding yourself with positive uplifting people is the way to go. Heck, we all have been around those persons that are just all gloomy and Eeyore-esque. They are no fun and they’ll pull down anyone that gets within their negativity force field. There is someone I work with like that. Constantly sighing and complaining about what they doing. Sometimes you just want to say, “Take your rain cloud somewhere else.”
Hi Chris,
Thank you for such an uplifting post! When you surround yourself with positivity, opportunities abound and you can do anything that you put your mind to. A great number of bloggers in my industry (voice overs) are conscious of the need to be a source of inspiration and smiles for their readers. I don’t watch my “count” so much as the number of comments that are left. Over time, the better your audience knows you and you know them, the more engaging and bountiful the comments on your blog.
Just a thought.
Thanks for writing about this!
Best,
Stephanie
What Robert said. But I have to embarrassingly admit I’ve been an “energy vampire” at times, online.
A colleague asked me to contribute my ‘personal’ story of building my current business to a book he’s writing. He asked me because firstly I’m a woman and secondly because in building this business I pushed myself so hard that I nearly crumbled under the weight of it all.
I’m in 2 minds about it because it means I have to be very honest about the imbalance I created in my life and how poorly I dealt with it at the time. The upside is that it will serve as a warning to others and the more honest I am, the more it will resonate with them.
Good timing on this post Chris
Sometimes things just happen by “coincidence”.
I have been thinking lately that I used to be someone different in character, like I have lost something of myself over the past few years. I guess when I let my work, beer and my poor relationship skills take over the first to go is the idea of who I am. In the past few weeks I have done some serious house cleaning and yesterday was the first day I really started to notice what direction I was heading. And today to pull up your site and read another intimite post was just another one of those mysterious coincidences that seem to happen when you are doing the right thing. Many times it seems as though I am reading your journal rather than your blog. New to the blogosphere, I did not think the realism existed. You can consider me a forlifer.
Thank you for today’s inspiration!
@Robert - Exactly, I think it really helps if we concentrate on putting out positivity, even more so when surrounded by negative folks. I find when I succeed those people either change or go away, either way is a win
@Stephanie - I think audio or video work you need to be even more conscious of positivity and negativity as it can come across in your voice. You can’t tell but I am smiling while writing this
@raj - You are a very positive person, we all have off days
@LAChick - It sounds like it would be a great story, just only share what you are comfortable with
@Colbs - Thanks
Keeping hold in your own mind of who you really are is vitally important as otherwise other people will decide for you.
Hi Chris!
Just got here. I know some of who you are and every time I talk with you, I get to discover more that knocks me over with how valuable and important you are — what a thinker! what a teacher! what a friend.
People do get us wrong. Sometimes we get ourselves wrong too. In the end, as they say character is the person who is there when no one is looking. I’m proud to know you.
Thank you for including me on this short list.
Liz