@Joanna – Thinking of it as a place is useful, we tend to drift away from that place and we have to consciously move back to it.

@Steve – Some people are naturally just glass half full types. For others that training, nurture and negative tape in our head can take a lot of persistence to over come but it can be. I am naturally a lot more positive for other people than I am myself but I am getting better

@Sheamus – Yes I think there is a time where you can fix things and then there are situations where if you stick around you will just be dragged down. Perhaps with close friends and family you will stick at it a bit more too. Some people though are drawn to overtly negative sites, tv shows, groups, and that boggles my mind.

@Ulla – I think if you are truly grateful and show it then your audience can pick that up, just as if you take them for granted they can also tell. Sometimes it is the small things that make all the difference.

@Tomoso – I think we all naturally reframe, but tend toward amplifying the scary, absent, or negative aspects rather than seeing the good. “I am missing this” rather than “look at all the great things”

@Vicky – Being optimistic comes more naturally to me now than it did, and I can be much more optimistic on behalf of others than myself It’s a journey rather than a destination

@Sonia – Yup, and I hardly got anything done this weekend because of it. Just shows I need to take my own advice!

@Julie – I think on a bigger picture scale the gratitude has to be genuine and, yes, come from simple desire to be thankful rather than gain, but on a productivity level shifting gears from “cranky” to “thankful” can only help and be a positive influence. I also find that when I am down, simple acts of kindness for others can bring my own mood up, and I don’t think there is any harm in feeling good by helping someone else

@Loraleigh – The world is full of depressants, chemical or otherwise. It takes strength to put them out of reach.

@Patricia – The ego is not something to be defeated in one sitting. If we get into the good habit of being grateful and positive, I think that alone is an improvement for everyone. With a lighter and clearer head we can work on what our intentions and attachments are?

@Patty – I think you are right but it doesn’t always feel that way at the time

@Ria – I used to do the opposite, I had a rubber band I would wear on my wrist and give myself a good snap when I thought something negative. Started out with a very sore wrist and some funny looks, in the end I left the company I was working for and didn’t need it any more

@Rebecca – It sounds perfectly sane to me I had a similar feeling years ago looking out of a hospital window, I think life gives us wake up calls and it is up to us to hold on to what we learn rather than go back into our daily routine just as we were before.

This post has inspired me to share something that happened to me recently and I am a little afraid that I will sound crazy but I am going to share anyway (did I mention the post inspired me?).

I am working hard (and sometimes succeeding) at turning negative thoughts to positive by being more realistic and balanced (less pessimistic and prone to panic). And that can really help lift your mood and attitude in difficult situations. You assess this in an intellectual way and know it is true.

But I discovered a whole other level to gratitude the other evening when I was walking from work to the train station in the twilight. I don’t know why and I don’t know how, nothing special had really happened, but suddenly I felt so aware, and grateful, and connected to everything around me. The cool air swirling around me, the crunch of my shoes on the path, the lights and sounds of traffic going by, the other people walking and talking.

And I was so grateful to be alive in that moment, and to have the opportunity to be a part of this world, and to be in touch with everything and everyone. I was beyond happy.

And that is what I think of when I read: Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

I hope I can find that place again.

On Thanksgiving 2006, I gave out “gratitude rocks” (ala The Secret) as place settings. I told the story of putting it in a pocket and saying thank you for something whenever you felt it. I just talked to my husband’s grandmother last week and she said, “You know that rock you gave me? Every morning I take it from my nightstand and say thank you as I put it in my purse. And at night when I take it out again, I say thank you.”

It was a little reminder TO ME about how a subtle shift in mindset can… change your life!

Ria

I agree with Julie that we shouldn’t be grateful just because of what it will bring us. That isn’t true gratitude. Being grateful for what life brings us doesn’t need attachments added to it. I will do this if I get this is the wrong way to look at giving. Gratitude comes from the heart, not the mind. Attachments come from the ego.

I used to go to AA and it was always stressed to to put the “attitude of gratitude” front and center. After years of putting the depressant called alcohol in my body, negativity had become a way of life. I am (dare I say) so grateful that I was able to train myself to think differently.

Reminders are always appreciated.

I believe in gratitude because I believe that everything we have comes through either the efforts of someone else or by the grace of some power in the Universe. However, I have a problem with the popular idea that we should be grateful because it will result in more good things for us.

That may very well be true, but as the song says, “It ain’t necessarily so.” I have looked back over the past 15 years or so of my own life, and I’ve seen times of plenty, and times of struggle; times of humor and times of sadness; I’ve seen miracles and tragedies. Through it all, I can see that my attitude colors the way I FEEL about my circumstances, but what I haven’t seen is any real evidence in my own life that my attitude CAUSES my circumstances. Life is much more mysterious and complicated than that.

Likewise, I’ve also witnessed many cranky, negative people who have accomplished much as well as some very positive, loving people who always seem to be getting the short end of the stick.

I have come to my own conclusion that it is good and right to be grateful because I have been blessed – in whatever ways. I find that if I slip into the kind of thinking that says I will get more blessings if I am grateful for what I have, I am reducing gratitude to a tool to be used instead of as a sacred response to life.

Peace,
Julie

**
So, what is the answer?

If we

* consciously adjust our own behavior

**

I have to ‘conciously’ do this everyday. Of course each day it becomes more natural, but I still have to remind myself.

Does being optomistic come naturally to you?

Vicky H

thanks for this article. I think it’s one them them which I should put up on the wall somewhere, just to see it everytime I run the danger of negative thinking. The traffic on my blog is really not so big, but thanks for every visitor who takes the time and goes there. Be grateful for what you have – you say it Steve!

Having come to this realisation, I’ve made a conscious effort to separate myself from those areas where I felt I was more prone to acting in a negative way, or was surrounded by people who were having a negative influence on me. You can’t get away from everything – and to be honest I’m not sure that running away complete is ever the answer, or is even possible – but you can, to some extent, control your surroundings.

What I’d also add is that if you find yourself going out of your way to HAVE to be positive with a given person because they’re always negative, you need to really think about what that person is doing in your life. If it’s a relative or loved one it’s one thing, and you should take steps to find out what is going on with them. If it’s a casual friend or business colleague – or worse, boss – then you really need to think about setting boundaries.

So, I concur. All about one thing: NOBODY gets on to the front page of Digg without in some way working the system!

I am a 100% believer in positive thinking and the law of attraction. I write a monthly magazine article entitled “positively speaking”. Even my blog wakeupbreathing.com is about living a positive life.

There is so much people can accomplish by just turning away from the negative. But this isn’t always easy when you have trained your mind over years to be negative. You actually have to retrain yourself. But one of the first steps is being grateful for what you have and being aware of when you go negative and correct yourself.

Great article to get people thinking about their view of life.

Joanna

Wow, I just added my gravatar for the FIRST time. Thanks for leading me to that link about getting one. I didn’t see it.

Now let me try again.