That Magic Ingredient
Whenever I achieve something in my life, two things often occur. One, the first, is I have to silence that small voice in my head that says “If I managed it then it can’t have been all that hard”. The second is I seem to attract people who say to me “I could have done that if only I _____” or “You see it’s easy for you, because ______”.
It seems if I am not going to pull down my achievements I will attract someone into my life to do it for me.
I feel sad when people diminish what I have done, but I feel just as sad when I hear people say they would like to do this or that but never make a commitment to their self. People get stuck in ruts doing all the same things and wondering why they have the same results in their lives.
My brother was stuck in a life and basically nuked it. He went from an office job and mortgage to enrolling in a music school and renting in London. We all feared for him but it was the best thing he ever did with his life. He has gone from existing to thriving. It took an amazing amount of courage to face all the people who thought they knew what was best for him.
The fact is when we have a goal we want to accomplish, it is far easier to find reasons to not do the the thing. When you look at someone else’s accomplishments we think it is obvious they would do such a thing. Of course they did. You can see everything that lead up to that moment as clear as if stepping stones were laid out for them. For our selves these things are much harder to achieve. (In our heads).
Hindsight makes things look that way but everything we do of any importance has one vital ingredient. One thing separates “dream” from “ambition”.
The decision to take decisive action.
“the moment one definitely commits oneself then divine providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred and which no man could have dreamed would have come their way.” — William Hutchinson Murray
Sounds mystical but it is true. Once you make that mental shift in your head, once you actually put yourself in gear and decide, things move to help you. It’s almost like while you are thinking over plan B and C you are causing a jam in the universe.
Dream and the way will be clear
Pray and the angels will hear
Leap and the net will appear
These are lyrics from a song by Christine Kane. That line “Leap and the net will appear” is a fantastic phrase that sums up this whole thought.
If you are considering, deliberating, or planning something without having made that real decision to do, think on it. Nothing good will come from planning alone, you have to make it happen.
Decide what you want to happen then put your whole self behind that decision. Your future self will be grateful you did!
Posted on May 12th, 2008 by Chris Garrett in Productivity
OK, so were you a fly on the wall of my therapist yesterday when I was there, talking about *exactly* the same thing??
And are you actually quoting what my therapist had to say to me about blogging, investing my all in what I”m passionate about and not quiting?
Thanks for this post Chris. I find it supportive and useful and quite true, as I know from my own experience.
Actually- thanks for all the great posts.
You inspire me.
Yael in Israel
This is a useful thougth provoking article in that it highlights a key issue that I encounter when working with organisations. This tends to be about the fact that even when a number of committed individual are apparently motivated to make changes after a few weeks the status quo is in place. I would have said that each individual certainly appeared committed to their change and showed every sign of being motivated to make it happen. The fact it happens so often I think indicates the significant toxidity that exists in ways that soon erode into the confidence that each of the individuals had resulting in a slow decline in the will to change. One solution may be to work with an angel who believes in you and who will support and challenge at the appropriate times. I have observed this work when the individual learns to stop taking the comments from other too personally and focusing clearly on what they want to achieve and taking the steps to realise the desired outcome, as described in your article.
Didn’t work for me. The future isn’t guaranteed - we make it.
Reminds me of a blurb I read in a Napoleon Hill book some time ago. What the mind of man can conceive and believe he can achieve.
I very much believe that if you think it, commit it to paper, put it to the friends and family test, (what I mean by that is that if your friends and family think your crazy and move to talk you out of your dream then you have a compelling dream worth going after) and you repeat it to yourself every day you will get what you desire.
Great post Chris. Thanks and have a compelling day. M
Your posting is quite timely. I’ve recently decided to quit my job and go out on my own. This is of course, after many months of preparing both mentally and logistically.
To Evan’s point…the future isn’t guaranteed…I think we all know that. However, when you apply a little research, prepare a plan and simply “believe” that you can achieve something, can greatly reduce the odds of your venture from failing.
That, coupled with good old-fashioned prayer and faith are guiding my new venture. Heck, I have a family relying on my success, there is no room for failure.
I enjoy your postings Chris and read them almost every day. You certainly do what you preach!
BTW - 2 weeks before I launch RetireNation. Watch out for it =)
@Evan
“Didn’t work for me. The future isn’t guaranteed - we make it.”
That was the point.
Agreed, Chris. It’s your life. Decide. Do. And then reap the benefits or suffer the consequences, but at least it was worth the effort. If you’re not failing enough you’re not trying hard enough. I found myself nodding to myself as I read over your post.
One thing we can decide (although it can be quite dramatic) is to change who we associate with. My wife and I are incredibly supportive of each other and together we are building our online businesses. My parents and other family members do not understand how any of this works and they are all invested as seeing themselves as failures. They drag themselves down and each other. I have had to disassociate myself from my family in order to have any peace in my life and to experience and enjoy my success. Combined with getting support from my wife and some other friends, it has made a huge difference.
Hey Chris,
Interesting Title!
Your brother’s circumstance reminded me of Darren’s post, which he
had quoted the Poet- David Perkins.
“Do not follow where the path leads, Rather go where there is no path, and leave a trail.”
I wrote that one on my white board!
I think we all have come across “naysayers” in one form or the
other, but I think WE are the ones that can really hold us back.
Someone once told me to stop using the words “if only” or
“what if” at the beginning of my sentences, as they were a way
of hiding behind words. (excuses)
How many great ideas never happened, because we never actually
DID anything, and only sat there and thought about DOING it?
Thanks, Robert
Yup, your absolutely right. I too tend to put down my accomplishments. Or I used to. That’s something I’ve been working on lately - appreciating myself and my accomplishments.
And, that’s why I started blogging/writing because it’s always something I knew I was meant to do.
Thank you for all you advice that improved my confidence and got me going!
You drove the nail home on this one!
I agree with everything said. I especially like the line from the song, “Leap and the net will appear.” I just posted an article on the very same subject. You can read it here:
http://themaskedmillionaire.com/2008/05/12/when-losing-is-not-an-option.aspx
The Masked Millionarie
Your post reminds me of the scene in the Indiana Jones movie (the one with Sean Connery as the dad) in which Indiana had to have a “leap of faith” and when that occurred, a stone path appeared across the chasm.
On a less Hollywood note, I agree that faith is necessary, but, for me, it’s a faith in yourself…a faith in your ability to pull it off. The combination of “decisiveness” and “faith in oneself” are superb bedfellows!
Just to clarify, the last paragraph wasn’t stating a non-religious view of life. It was focused primarily on Chris’ post of what people go through when they look at making important decisions.
You have a most thought-provoking blog here, Chris. After reading your series of posts on “branding,” I get that you do apply what you teach!
Hey great place to hang …. You should all know “life was not meant to be a struggle”
I look around me every day see older folks than me I’m in my late very late fifties so I’m talking about seventy to eighty year olds and over … now that’s where we should all go seek out and talk to these people how the heck do they stay so positive when every day they can’t be sure they will even wake up…. If you get my drift … so here’s a mantra for us all…. One Life Live IT Now! … By making it a bigger NOW!! Get It!! … Enjoyed this visit … I’m typing to the tune of this kids guitar playing With or Without You - Sungha Jung http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4CR3GoB3YY
All my very best to you and your wake up call
Phillip Skinner
Once you make that decision and go for it then you’ve taken the first step. You then start on journey where you will learn new things about yourself at every stage.
It’s not always plain sailing, but it is rewarding. Believe in yourself and go for it.
I knew exactly how that felt! it is not easy to make a big decision in your life especially if it’s involved the life’s of other people such as your wife and kids. It took me a while to decide on quiting my day job and start my own online business. Thanks to all the supports from my family, We are living comfortably now.
Great article Chris, I follow it by warning of the need to protect yourself from toxic family and friends syndrome! I am part of a new social network that is aiming to bring down the greedy business practices of MySpace and Facebook, you know they have never sent a thank you to members let alone a cheque! That is however a side issue, what is important here is that although I have become over the last four weeks very successful with the new company still in Beta, and am called leader on an International scale by a circle of good friends I didn’t four weeks ago possess, my family and friends are still shouting the usual helpful stuff like it’s a scam, get a real job, those aren’t real people on the Internet, Oooo be careful you can’t trust anyone! They are none of them interested for me to tell them that they have someone in their family who is not the quiet person they think they know, but is an International business celebrity and friends with a famous Las Vegas property Mogul interestingly I met on the Internet, and Tommy is very REAL! I wonder are they afraid that I might tell them it is they who are going nowhere? Meanwhile I continue to earn money without a traditional job, and they would rather believe that whatever I am involved in must be illegal! Fortunately just as they have the choice to switch me off, we have the choice to switch off their toxidity!
Just when I needed to hear it again, you said it. Or you found William Hutchinson Murray to say it. Great entry!!
Chris, were you reading my mind today? YOUR words are a confirmation that I’m moving in the right direction!
Have a great one… and thank you!
Chris -
I always find that making my goals public either to friends, family or on a blog - somehow seeing that goal down in print or verbally stating it …makes me feel somehow more accountable and pushes me in the direction to get started.
As i’m sure you’ve found in your own successes, once you put that thought out there, there are countless resources and friends that are willing to help you get there along the way.
thanks for a great post and i enjoyed meeting you, albeit briefly at SOBCon.